I am so ashamed I'm not even going to share my weight. Since Friday I have gained a disgusting, horrifying amount of weight and I absolutely am freaking out. I can not relax a muscle in my entire body. How did this happen :( All I want to do is cry and sleep. Physically I have a knot in my stomach and I feel nervous, like the feeling before a big exam. I've been avoiding this two letter word because it sounds immature and is sometimes difficult to take seriously, but I just wanna scream EWWWW. Ew ew ew ew I suck. Maybe this is what I need to get serious and get under 115. Ugh I am so so frustrated and filled with self-loathing and actual horror. My response when I looked at the scale can most accurately be described as HORROR. I guess that's what four days of free reign gets me. I ate guilt free knowing I had to go up for the doctor but this..... Ugh.
I am incredibly disappointed in myself. WHAT THE HELL. Pleasing a doctor is not worth this at all. AT ALL.
I felt this way before also. I would over indulge gain 7 pounds and beat myself up about it. My day would go to shit....because of the number. Then I started to see a pattern, when I gained weight on an indulge day....2 days later I would be back to my normal weight. It's just a process, just keep in mind that sometimes food can be good for you as hard as that sounds.....took me a long time to get over restricting myself on what I could eat.
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Yomaira