My body is having an affair with a dirty slut called insomnia and after a month of this ridiculousness it's really starting to take a toll on me. Last night I got about 3 hours of sleep. My mind is foggy this morning but I can't stop my racing thoughts or release the tension in my shoulders GAH.
Today I got out of bed to exercise but we're amidst a snowstorm here in Wisco, so walking to the gym like usual was out of the question. I ate popcorn last night when I couldn't sleep and I really wanted to burn it off today :( This picture made me ask myself: Why do I get up every morning and go through the motions of a typical person my age? Expectations? Expectations for success from family and friends, and ultimately to avoid the guilt that accompanies not meeting them. I don't get out of bed for myself. That's a somber realization. I'm such a mediocre pile of pooooooop if I didn't feel so obligated to my commitments I'm sure I would rot away in my bed forever and ever
I decided to reward myself for 'good restriction' with a weigh in this morning (ironically it will probably act more like a punishment) but I'm going to go do that this very moment...
Anddddd down 4 lbs since declaring war. Not the best but I'll take it. WATCH OUT WORLD I'M GOING TO BE TINY TINY TINY.
Hope you're all happy today! Hug yourself from me :)
Do you go through life for yourself? What makes you get out of bed?
Insomnia is no fun, and do you know what I've found that truly helps? Proper eating and exercise :/ of course.
ReplyDeleteYou should find reasons to get out of bed, that are for you <3
But I know what you mean, at the very least, in the mornings I make other people breakfast and take care of the dogs. If those two weren't constant I would definitely rot in my bed.
Lots of love and a hug for you xx
ps I had to re-follow/subscribe to get your posts, I think it's the new url? Might want to let your other followers know of it, unless it was just me.
Thanks for letting me know I appreciate it!
DeleteI'll work on finding my own reasons :) I'm glad you have those constants, the world would be missing out on melrose if you stayed in bed all day!
Just started your blog, like it already. :D
ReplyDeleteI'm down in Nebraska so it's always snowing or cold and then it's 50's the next day. Spppppriiinnnggg! Where are you!?
I also really really relate to you when you say you're mediocre and you're obligated to your commitments. Story of my life.
Lots of love girl!
<3
I'm in Wisconsin, yay spring! So much cold and snow it's the worst haha.
DeleteAw thank you! Glad I'm not the only one always feeling so incredibly average and in the limbo of life. We can beat mediocracy though I have faith :)