The body is beautiful thing... countless functions, working harmoniously to enable life.... etc etc etc how freaking cool. There are colors and texture and sounds and endless capabilities and really, I think it's art.
Then whyyyyyyy do I DESPISE mine? I despise it more than sweet pickles, Bruno Mars and wet socks combined. (lol) Why do I only see beauty in thinness? My curves revolt me. In frustration, I always pinch the skin folds a little too hard and a little too long. I can feel my arms jiggle. My hips bulge. My stomach goes out instead of in. WHERE THE HELL IS MY THIGH GAP? My breasts are FAT. I feel HEAVY. This is GARBAGE. As I type, I'm sitting on a chair with my legs upon another. How many repulsive stomach rolls is this bend in my body making?
I wish I could love my body, it would make loving myself a lot easier. My insecurities have destroyed something that should be beautiful :(
It's been about a week on anti-depressants and I feel no change, but I was told it could take around a month. I really like A, the boy I'm seeing. We've been seeing each other for around six weeks or so? He still doesn't know about my struggles, and I'm not sure when I'll share that with him. Today I've had a 100 calorie bottled Mocha from Starbucks and a handful of blackberries. It's 7 pm and I'm at the library with some apple tea and I MUST be productive so, goodnight :)
Hope everyone had a lovely start to their week! Do you think your insecurities have destroyed you? If so, do you think the damage is repairable?
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